goofypopy

Jason Mraz - Bali Concert

2011-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

Mother, I Love You.

2011-11-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

I came with an idea to write this a few days ago, in the moment where I just realize, I love my mother very much.

It was a simple thing. My mother never work in an office, so she's never been in a good relationship with computer except years ago when we was a kid. And she was just using it to play Tetris, and Frog. You must remember that games.

As the time goes by, technology is developing. There comes pager then mobile phones. Because she needs to communicate with her friends, she got one too. I can't remember how many time she disturbed me while I was working, asking me how to this and that with her mobile. SMS, MMS, and I keep teaching her until I wrote the manual in my words for her to remember.

Then comes smart phone, which for elderly it's much more difficult to use than a regular mobile phone. Therefore of course BBM and e-mail, the she wants to have a Facebook. I made her one. Recently she told me she needs a laptop. So, I gave her my old macbook. So yeah, she's an apple user.

Every time she found an issue, she keeps BBM-ing me and ask questions that basically she already asked couple of times too. I was really tired. Cause we no longer lives on the same roof. And she can't ask to my sister cause they were gonna kill each other end the end, I believe.

In the middle of tiring answering all of her needs, I suddenly realize. When I was a kid, I must have thousand of questions to her. About things, about animals, about fruits, about people, mostly about anything. Lalu, kenapa saya harus merasa terganggu dengan pertanyaan seorang ibu yang mempertaruhkan nyawanya untuk melahirkan saya ke dunia ini, hanya dengan pertanyaan seputar gadget dan teknologi? Kenapa? Lalu, kenapa saya harus merasa lelah? Kenapa saya harus merasa terganggu? I know I shouldn't. She's always been there for me, all the time. She never judge how I live my life now. She respects my decision to get out from the house before marriage. And she always welcome me at home. She always make sure she got my favorite food if I come home.

One day, I was at home. I came to her room without knocking her door. She was praying, and I overheard my name. I was in tears out of a sudden. This is the person who will never get tired of you, this is the person who will love you no matter what, this is the person who would die for you. Why don't I do the same. Then I promise myself, next time she asks me question, I will always answer it with smile.

Mother, I love you.

the other person

2011-10-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

here's the scene: you meet someone. although the other person is partnered, there's sparks. flying everywhere.

sure it can be for certain reasons. that the other person is bored, or because you're new blood. or maybe simply, the One doesn't exist, we don't have that "perfect" partner, and chemistry just might happen. just happened. even when one of you is partnered.

chemistry, we all know how it feels. great. really great. and should we walk away from it?

but what if, the chemistry is creating a crack in someone else's commitment? what if this person wants me so bad or we have so much in common, or we have amazing connection rather than their partner? are they officially a douche bag or because they don't value commitment, because for me, a commitment to me would be so much better than what i have now.

let's, just for a half second. consider the shoes of the other person. in this case, the shoes of the other woman.

they may not be the manolo blahnik or christian louboutin fuck-me-shoes you thought they were. and walking that mile in them, the one while you're figuring out how to walk away. it's probably more difficult, and more complicated, than we ever consider it to be.

chemistry. just happen. even when one of you is already partnered, and it doesn't make them any less committed.

why they wait around to see. doesn't mean i don't hear the little voices that say,"well, maybe they've just been together so long, but she's just not that great for him.. maybe he's just with her because it's convenient. maybe there's something here he can't ignore. maybe, maybe, maybe."

i do get it why people hating on the other person. but that doesn't mean it's the right way to vent your anger or relieve your insecurities. hence, she/ he doesn't deserve your anger. the cheater does.

i've never understood the hate towards the other person either. there are 2, let me rephrase, TWO people involved in cheating and they both of their own brain.

yes, some women and men use excuses as reasons they stick around, when really they just want to hump someone who should be off-limits. they stick around because they're not strong enough to walk away from something that they think is bigger than lust.

my thoughts? if that chemistry is real, then there's no reason not to end the relationship you're in before you start the new one. there's till no excuse for being the cheater or the other person.

Penipuan? Penipuan Apa?

2011-10-16T20:55:00.001-07:00

Dalam semua cerita, selalu ada 3 sisi. My version, your version and the truth.

This is what happening now in my so-called-beautiful-country. Sebuah negara berkembang yang konon katanya sedang membangun. Sebuah negara berkembang yang masih berhutang sana-sini untuk membenahi dirinya. Sebuah negara berkembang yang selalu ribut soal agama. Sebuah negara berkembang yang selalu punya cara untuk mengalihkan sebuah issue politik.

Betapa hebatnya dalam 2 minggu terakhir ini, sebuah berita pencurian pulsa bisa menutup hingar bingarnya re-shuffle kabinet. Saya mungkin tidak lagi bekerja di industri musik, dan bukan siapa-siapa. Tapi sebagai pecinta musik, saya tetap memperhatikan ke mana industri ini berjalan. Cause in my wildest dream, i do still wanna be like Ari Gold.

Bicara soal promosi, bahasa promosi itu selalu tricky. Namanya juga promosi. How to get people's attention of your product is a must. Kata orang, yang namanya bisnis harus cari untung. Siapa juga yang mau bisnisnya rugi?

Lihat saja di toko-toko: "Sale! Further Reduction" 30%-70%... --> kenyataannya, barang-barang yang dijual jarang sekali ada yang sampai mendapat potongan 70%. Pernah merasa tertipu?

Tiket pesawat murah: Fly For Free!!! Perhatikan tulisan kecil di bawah kanan, not include tax & fuel. --> tertipu jugakah?

Lalu kata-kata: syarat dan ketentuan berlaku. Pernah berusaha mencari tahu apa syarat dan ketentuan yang berlaku?

Lalu siapa yang bodoh? Akui sajalah, masyarakat kita memang masih bodoh. Kalau saja semua sekolah di negeri tercinta ini gratis, kita akan banyak melahirkan rakyat-rakyat pandai yang tidak akan merasa dibodohi dengan sebuah permainan kata dalam bahasa-bahasa promosi.

Kebiasaan di negara ini, cari kambing hitam! Bukan mencari solusi. Senangnya jika sudah ada pihak yang disalahkan.

Saya tidak habis pikir mengapa BRTI (Badan Regulasi Telekomunikasi Indonesia) mengambil keputusan secepat itu untuk menghentikan (sementara) semua layanan konten. Katanya ini meresahkan masyarakat. Saya rasa masyarakat jauh lebih resah memikirkan bagaimana besok makan daripada masalah pencurian pulsa.

Semua orang memang punya hak untuk melaporkan sebuah kejadian jika merasa dirugikan. Tapi saya rasa reaksi kali ini berlebihan. Politik apalagi yang dimainkan di sana, saya tidak (mau) mengerti.

Bayangkan 3 industri yang akan "tercekat" dengan keputusan ini. Telko, Content Provider dan Musik. Bagi industri musik keputusan ini seperti kilat yang datang di tengah teriknya sebuah siang. Di saat album tidak lagi menjadi sumber income, dan full track download belum bisa menyelamatkan hidup, live gig dan Ring Back Tone adalah salah satu pemasukan yang cukup menjanjikan.

It's kinda sad for the music industry. How can musician makes money? There will be a way, I believe. But it will take some time before new innovation is coming. Or a miracle.

Musicians are those people who has to be appreciated. They are the people who makes our life more colorful. They are the people who makes us smile.

Let's fight for music!!!!

You Know When You’re Supposed To Know...

2011-10-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

they say fall in love with someone for their faults, not for their lovely parts. because it's their faults that you'll hve to deal with for the rest of your life. it is a mirror of your own insecurities, your unfulfilled desires, your need to be accepted and loved for your pain.

suddenly, i have a thought in mind. with the divorce rate the way it is these days, one of the big questions that arises is: is marriage even relevant anymore? over my laptop I started looking at couples I saw and thinking, “I wonder if they are really happy?”

maybe they are really happy. I just really wish it is true. but I have a nagging suspicion it isn’t. are we really meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives? the romantic in me likes to think so, but I’m not so sure this is realistic anymore.

truth is, I’m afraid. for every one couple I know who is still playing dress-up and administering adult toy appendages after years of being together, there are twenty couples that have sex once every couple of months.

can’t our lover be like wine, their taste getting more nuanced over time?

I kind of pick the wrong song tonight,

In my solitude you haunt me
With reveries of days gone by
In my solitude you taunt me
With memories that never die
I sit in my chair
Filled with despair
Nobody could be so sad
With gloom ev’rywhere
I sit and I stare
I know that I’ll soon go mad
In my solitude
I’m praying
Dear lord above
Send back my love

I feel my tears, hidden behind my glasses. I look to the ceiling to protect it from falling. totally a wrong song, or maybe it's the right song. or maybe it's a perfect one. too perfect.

he had already expressed his wishes; he wanted us not to see each other that often. after the initial shock, I came to understand the reasons and I even realized that he was right. we needed to be alone to re-learn our relationship and to figure out how to be happy without relying on each other.

And if I’m losing control will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?
And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?
There’s no way this could die
But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, you’ll need me to hold

- Love is a Battlefield by Pat Benetar (1983) -

An’ here I go again on my own
Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone

- Here I Go Again by Whitesnake (1982) -

I'm gonna miss his presence.

waking up with my arm splayed across his chest and his face nuzzled into my neck. the best way to wake up, there is nothing better, I am convinced.

holding him close when he’s had a bad day and listening. and vice versa when I’m having a bad day. even if words aren’t exchanged, his presence is all that I need.

maybe, just maybe, during our shifting times, we must reevaluate ourselves. maybe, just maybe, we need to let go.

Music, Is It Here To Stay?

2011-09-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

THE FALL

Is it the real death of the music industry?

How many songs do you have on your iTunes? Have you ever check? How many of them are ripped from the original CDs and how many of them are legally downloaded?

On my desk right now, I have a stack of CDs, original not pirated. It’s like a self-evident that I still appreciate musicians. But I cannot doubt that I do illegal download too. I don’t have to give you the reason why I do that; you must smile at yourself now too.

The music industry is shrinking after years, or I might say the recorded music industry. People these days are paying less for music. I actually a bit curious to be able to get good data on how people listening to their music nowadays. For sure the Internet has truly transformed music distribution. In other words, downloading illegally is flaring up.

CD selling is suffering. It is one of the longest death rattles in consumer product history, and it is becoming painfully clear that digital downloads are no knight in shining armor in music business. Even though one of the biggest telecommunication company in Indonesia is targeting revenue of USD 120 to 140 million from digital services alone in 2011, still one website of free sharing alone, can cause USD 90 million of loss in a month, assuming that one song is priced 0.99 cent.

Sad, really. People will continue to file share and steal music. They’ve been doing it for 10-plus years and they’re not stopping now. Even Steve Jobs raking off 30% of everything they sell on iTunes doesn't help either. Piracy remains a worldwide problem.

SELLING TOURS

In the past, people would tour to promote theirs albums. Today, they put albums to promote their tours. The pendulum has swung (Guy Oseary, Madonna’s Manager).

It’s actually now like “chicken or the egg” quandary. Do musician tour to sell album or sell album to do tours. As the matter of fact, the industry is not dead. It’s just people stop buying albums. By giving us the option of not buying whole albums, just to get at two or three songs, the digital distribution of music smashed down the old power structure.

This, disturb the major labels around the world. We are now seeing the major label signing full services with artist including the artist management, because concerts or touring are now making more money than selling CDs. And this give the labels a cut of virtually every revenue stream artists can tap into – fan sites, concerts, merchandise, endorsement deals, and everything else.

INDONESIAN MUSIC INDUSTRY

Is it here to stay?

Talking to Adib Hidayat, the Editor In Chief of Rolling Stone Indonesia, is creeping me out. He stated that lots of people say there’s no music industry in Indonesia. There are only entertainment and stars business. Plenty of musician or bands are taking advantage of one-hit-wonder. While their songs are on heavily played on radio or television, they will maximize the income that they can get. In the end, it’s all universe selections; the one who survive is the one who appreciate the process of being a real musician. The same thing also alleged by Erdian Aji, former vocalist of a band, DRIVE. He said, “If you see the music industry from the entertainment side, Indonesia has a very good industry. But if you talk about numbers, it doesn’t sound sexy to my ears.”

The piracy that happens in the world also happens in Indonesia. Pirated CDs are everywhere; every body does file sharing. According to Heal Our Music, a non-governmental organization for saving Indonesian music, in total there has been 104 million free music downloading from 15 Indonesian sites in April 2011. And unfortunately, 51% of the downloader is not aware that it is illegal.

Indonesian musician also try to survive by doing tours. They sometimes only release single as their existence in the industry. As to music genre, Adib believes, “Pop is still the king in the market. But it’s no guarantee either, sometimes it’s luck and momentum.” Aji also added, “Music is not something concrete. Every music has their own listener. Sometimes, you cannot describe which sells or not.”

To sum up, the music industry is really look glamour from outside, but the truth is, it’s poor inside. Do musician nowadays making a lot of money? I don’t think so. Making music will be a lot like painting pictures - something that takes a long time and even for the best people doesn't pay as well as a job at restaurant. Anyhow, music is here to stay and the industry simply has to evolve with the changes. Some companies will fold, some will adapt, and new players will emerge. Whatever happens, the need to create and entertain will always be a part of human culture.

published on Jakarta Expat #47/2011

Apakah Aku Salah?

2011-07-15T01:16:00.000-07:00

Pagi itu, dua cangkir kopi jadi saksi percakapan kita. Tidak ada buaian kata-kata, tidak ada janji, tidak ada pengharapan. Jiwaku berbicara dengan jiwamu. Kalau ada air mata keluar dari mataku, itu jiwaku yang merasakan sedih. Kalau ada senyum dari bibirku, itu jiwaku yang merasakan indah. Melihatmu bahagia, aku juga bahagia. Tapi, aku tau, kita tak akan pernah bersama. Sedikit waktuku bersamamu. Berulangkali kau katakan, "nikmati saja waktu yang ada." Mudah bagimu mengucapkan itu. Bahagiamu tidak hanya saat bersamaku. Tapi, saat ini, bahagiaku, hanya saat bersamamu.

Saat tak bersamamu, kucari bayanganmu, kupeluk rasanya hadirmu. Indah. Seperti sempurna. Tidak, aku tidak ingin menghamba untuk dicinta. Seperti itukah aku sekarang? Menghamba pada hatimu, yang bukan untukku? Apa itu benar, apa itu salah? Apa itu hitam, apa itu putih? Jika benar yang kurasa saat bersamamu, lalu apa yang salah?

63 hari, 18 jam, 24 menit, 10 detik, bukan waktu yang banyak untuk mengenalmu. Hanya warna kesukaanmu dan rokok yang kau hisap yang kutau. Ah, dan minuman yang kamu suka.. itu aku juga tau. Tapi, kebiasaan-kebiasaan kecilmu, membuat jiwaku merasakan sesuatu yang beda. Nyaman. Tak ada hal lain yang kucari saat tanganku menari di bawah tanganmu.

Aku tak ingin sakit. Aku tak mau menangis. Aku tak ingin menyakiti.

Aku ingin tersenyum. Aku ingin melihatmu tersenyum. Dengan atau tanpaku, tulus dari hati. Walaupun, senyumku diiringi sedikit rasa pedih di hati. Ada yang menangis kecil di sana.

Katakan apa yang kulakukan ini salah. Teriakkan padaku apa yang benar.

Ucapkan pada hatiku, aku tidak perlu rindu yang selalu datang luar biasa ini.

Bilang pada tubuhku, aku tidak perlu pelukan hangatmu. Tampar bibirku, saatku ingin menciummu. Bohongi aku. Bila ini semua salah.

This Is What She Said.

2011-06-28T07:12:00.000-07:00

This is about a lady coming home from a four-day trip & standing on the corner of the road with her bags at 6am waiting for no one.

This is about choices.

Reasons to love, reasons not to.

This is about a lady, standing along at 6am with her bags, which are packed.

This is about not knowing if she's coming or going.

He called. breathless. It would be fun, he said over the phone, with sidebars of do's and don'ts, tips & etiquette, that sort of thing. A part of her worried that the whole thing would come crashing down on her. She loses her lover & then all of her disappointment with life. She faces real fears and would have to accept the truth. At least he wasn't calling her because she'd done something wrong.

And while it's trust, she didn't break any rules, she doesn't mean to hurt people and she doesn't want to lie.

Tell her how to make it work and how not to f*ck it up.

Everything said and left unsaid. all the tiny lies and the way they protect themselves and each other.

If he said he could make a Wednesday night date, how she founds herself taking the first full breath of the day. When he called to say Wednesday, she giggled. she sounded like a child. she realized she could make it thru today & tomorrow & the next day.

It does trigger painful experiences, which is why she has to have her eyes wide open if she's going to do this. It operates in the theater of love and intimacy they bump up against their deep woundings all the time. but the opportunity here is to wake up, to realize that they each create dramas.

The mistake they make is hoping that other people will make changes that will make them more comfortable.

People will never love you the way you want to be loved, even if they love you very much. If you can, you must allow yourself to fall in love a little. That’s where the juice is. Managing that love can be tricky; to care, but not too much; to feel, but not be overwhelmed with feeling. To be able to remember in detail what he feels like inside of her, to reach for his hand.

She will find herself checking her cell phone. she will be distracted, sometimes unable to sleep, she'll swoon & it will remind her at times. She can make an impression, but she shouldn’t leave a mark.

A major part of what makes this special is the unavailability, the great passionate gaps in between their time together. Want it, long for it, let the hunger happen, that’s what keeps it alive, because in the end they’re just people. Enjoy the small amounts of time they get to see each other, savor those sessions and leave their date just a little hungry.

It's all good until it isn't, and each person has to make that decisions for themselves. she can't say. there are no guarantees. there are just a few things for now.

Yes, Single... Why?

2011-05-25T21:31:00.001-07:00

It was told me the other day that one of the reason i'm currently single (again) is that i'm too independent, which is apparently intimidating to men. I wish I had snapped back in the moment with something appropriately witty that reflected how truly idiotic that statement was, but I think I was so shock at the time was something like,"really?" And what am I supposed to do about that"

Yes, people. Someone actually said this too me. Well some two and some three.

Any man who is threatened by it and is stuck in his antiquated notion that he must be the provider is not someone I'd want to date anyway, so if that's the reason I'm single, so be it.

Seriously?? It's more appealing to you to date a woman who has nothing to show for herself than to date someone who can take care of herself?

iisshh, good luck with that.

i am lucky.

2011-04-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

Saya ingat pertama kali mengenal seorang sosok bernama Maera. Mba mea saat itu saya memanggilnya. Lewat sebuah acara charity, saya beruntung dapat mengenalnya. Saat diundang untuk menyaksikan Gita Cinta The Musical, sempat terucap,"kalau ada lagi, aku mau ya mba, bantu-bantu. jadi apa aja deh."

Yes, i'm very interested in these kind of events. Seiring waktu berjalan, this wonderful lady offered me a job in her office to start a recording and artist management division. In the meantime, ArtSwara, was preparing the second musical, Ali Topan The Musical. Walaupun tidak banyak terlibat langsung, tapi saya banyak melihat kesungguhan dari semua orang yang terlibat. Pemain, pelatih, tim produksi, semua orang-orang "gila". Saya banyak sekali belajar dari setiap individu. Professionally and personal. Tentang mimpi, tentang hidup, tentang cinta.

Mba mea dengan semua mimpinya, ibu Dian HP dengan kejeniusannya menciptakan nada-nada indah nan luar biasa, kak Ari Tulang dengan kedisiplinannya, kak Ubiet dengan ilmunya. Sekali lagi beruntung saya mengenal manusia-manusia ini. Semesta memberikan izin untuk bersama mereka.

Air mata, tawa, sudah menjadi makanan sehari-hari selama 6 bulan ini. Sleepless night. Tough days. So many things that has been shared.

i can't say much now, i can only say,"yes, i am lucky."

It's Raining

2011-03-02T07:12:00.001-08:00

There's an art to leaving, a perfection, a symmetry.

Here's how you leave: you sit, you cry, you call a million people you haven't spoken to in months. You want someone to say the right thing, and you don't know what it is, but you know you haven't heard it, so when the words dry up, you go quiet.

You live off caffeine and nicotine for three days, and when you try and swallow soup you gag it up again.

You cry a little more, you call the ex and talk for three hours and say 'I love you' more times than you ever said it in three years of fights and punches.

You scour the internet for evidence that everyone else is more successful, less single, less crazy, just as confused as you. You wallow a little in the sting of being reliably, perpetually a wild card, the only prediction that anyone can make about you being that at some point, at some time, you'll pack and leave in the night, a few broken pieces scattered behind.

And you stop checking your email and your facebook and all that bullshit, because there's no one you want to talk to, and you don't have anything left to say. You kind of wish you hadn't spent so much time working-working-working, because you forgot to feel a little too.

You don't really know where you're going, but you know where you have to be, so until then you just let things slide a little, hope the money people sent you is enough. You buy a pack of cigarettes and a coffee.

You don't know what you feel. You don't particularly care. It's still raining.

---

-music is my religion-

i am an asshole, Universe.

2011-02-18T23:56:00.000-08:00

there comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.

there are two sides of everyone. the side you know and the side you don't want to know. good and not-good.

i think about this, as i sat, tear stained, hoping that the white i know will remain that way for the rest of my life.

it's been almost 2 years i'm being single. this is the longest ever been in my adult life, but yet i learned a lot of things.

have you ever been thinking about your purpose in life? do you live only for yourself? what if God and the whole Universe conspire to create the-you that will be more useful for people around you. suddenly your life is not center around you anymore.

no one knows how complicated my life is now. it is neurotic to the point of irritating, and i'm not sure i want to be my own partner. why would anyone else want to be?

i'm not playing an angel. but truly, so many people around me needs my existence. time has become a very luxurious thing for me now. the time to be alone, the time to be with friends. into the point, i'd rather to be alone or with friends. i just feel guilty if i have a date or even be in the movie for 2 hours or 2 hours and a half. life seems unfair. well, life is never fair.

you know how sometimes you wake up and you look in the mirror and think, Universe, you are an asshole. sometimes the pity party starts at night, with the pillow crisp and empty space beside you, bemoaning the crack in your heart. sometimes you wonder how in the hell you can keep doing this thing you do.

and then, i remember, i should be grateful. then again i think, i am an asshole, Universe.

thank you for pointing me to the right souls, to show me how it should be done.

2011, Ain't It?

2011-01-01T22:53:00.001-08:00

Well hello, 2011.

We're 2 days in and you still have that new year smell. Things are going well so far, sleep at 4 a.m
was quite possibly the worst thing you can deal with.

I kicked off twenty-eleven in the apartment with 3 of my closest friends; the kind of friends you can share a sofa with for four consecutive days without wanting to shove each other into another room; the kind of friends who are cool with you sending the same tortilla chip into the salsa for the third time; the kind of friends who don't mind if the last morning show has rolled its credits and you still haven't brushed your teeth. In other words: guys and un-spoiled girl. We did a lot of nothing--partially because that was the point of staying in --but it was a perfect kind of nothing.

My grandma used to say that the way your New Year's Day unfolded was the way the rest of your year would go. You know, if you were happy, you'd be happy all year and all that. I like to think that her beliefs hold true, that this is going to be a year of comfortable relationships, of easy laughter and big dreams, and of heavily processed food.

I don't know if I have a new year resolution. If I'm going to fail, I like to fail in a big, big way. Last year, I kicked tradition aside and made an attempt at making myself better. I thought that typing out a list of goals would help me work toward them, but instead they became the first entry in a journal I abandoned after approximately six and a half days.

Last year wasn't one that paid particularly well, but it absolutely paid off. I made some invaluable connections and some equally incredible friends.

Save money. No more shoes. That last one's for real. You don't need another shoes. Oh, resolution, you were a mega-fail from the time I typed the first imperative sentence.

Take more pictures. You're not going to remember this stuff forever. I didn't take enough pictures. No matter how many I take, there will never be enough to fill in the gaps in my memory of all of the Technicolor good times I like to think I had. One day, I'll wish I had more, of everything from last weekend to this weekend to my next weekend. One day, I'll want to remember how young I was and to forget that I didn't appreciate it and I'd like to have enough snaps on enough memory cards to do just that.

Try harder.
That's what I'm doing, kids.
That's what I'm doing.

---

Hello, I'm Alive!

2010-11-21T20:23:00.002-08:00

I'm still here, subsisting largely on life.

So, why haven't I been writing? That's the thing, I've been doing nothing but managed to score a couple of ongoing projects. Now I'm back from a busy couple of weeks, not much really, save for fighting with my own brain. I know there are things I need to be doing, but for some reason, I just love to blog for a while.

Anyway,
I do still feel pain. Sometimes, some of life's most important lessons are also the most painful to learn. Experiencing these truths for myself, can leave me mentally spent and emotionally battered. Each shot to the heart.

Will write more soon.

Reia's Birthday

2010-09-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

The Birthday Girl. She's 3 Now.

Time goes fast. It flies.

She's ready to blow the candle now.

with her lovely brother, Renee.

and my Sister, their mother.

I just woke up, so no face of me.

Bappy Hirthday, sweetheart.

Toast with Renee.

Renee's giving her a necklace.

look, acu, Picasso

A small party. Just the 4 of us. But she's smiling and happy. That's the most important thing.

How To Be Alone

2010-09-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Found it on some website, and I fell in love with it.
Since the last time I broke up with my boyfriend, I feel this kind of lonely, and still sometimes.
And at certain point, you need to be alone.
For whatever your reason is.

And being alone, doesn't mean you're lonely,

A Sunday Walk In....

2010-09-13T02:01:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I wish to finish the sentence, with the word "Park". Here I go, going to finish the sentence with the word "Mall". Sad, yes it's sad. Living in a big city with unpredictable weather and horrible traffic jam, everything is not walking distance and even more, we don't have descent park.

So, again, the family, spent the Sunday at the Mall. Interesting. Haha.

We eat. We laugh. We took pictures.

How To Eat a Date-Palm, differently.

2010-09-08T05:05:00.000-07:00

The date palm, mentioned more than any other fruit-bearing plant in the Qur’an, is a symbol often associated with Islam and Muslims. Throughout the month of Ramadhan, dates are a common ingredient in the Muslim diet.

Even though dates considered as an almost ideal food, providing a wide range of essential nutrients and potential health benefits, the remainder consists of protein, fat and mineral products including copper, sulfur, iron, magnesium and fluoric acid, high in fiber and an excellent source of potassium, the sugar content of ripe dates is about 80%, that's why dates are very sweet. Sometimes too sweet to be eaten daily.

That's why I have this recipe to eat dates differently.

Ingredients
1. Cheese
2. Date Palm
3. Butter

How to cook:
pick the amount of dates that you want to eat, slice, take out the seed, replace it with cheese that you've slice as the size of the seed. Heat butter in a small sauted-pan, then put the dates, let it fried for 3-4 minutes. then voila.. you got a different taste of date-palm.

Enjoy. Let me know if you've tried.

Relationship. What Relationship?

2010-09-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

If we check Wikipedia and look for the word 'relationship', here's what we get:

Relationship or relationships may refer to:

In mathematics and statistics:

In database design:
- Relational model
- Entity-relationship model

Let's just pay attention to the intimate relationship.
"Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.Humans have a universal need to belong and to love which is satisfied when an intimate relationship is formed.^[2] Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like and love, romantic and sexual relationships, and those whom we marry and provide and receive emotional and personal support from.^[1] Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal needs of belonging and the need to be cared for."

---> whom we like, love, romantic and sexual relationships.
There's none that mention you should be the first, the second and the third. There's no mentioning about religion issues or else.

In real life, do you take it when you happen to be the second person? I mean, when you're in touch with someone, and knowing that person is belong to someone else (i.e married or having a relationship), would you still go for it. Then what do you have? A relationship in a relationship?

Where does this guy put you in his life? After his girlfriend? After his family? After his job? After his friends? Then, what's the point? Where's that priority? What's the point of staying? Even if this guy says that he likes you, he loves spending time with you, and he admire you of making him laugh, then what? Does he choose to be with you? A simple mind-set, if he wants to be with you, he'll be with you. If he's just using you, use him back. Be smart ladies.

Second. Religion has always been a problem for my friends. Sometimes heart wins over the head. Stupid or what? If you know it would be a problem, why bother to let the feeling grows? I know it's easier said then done, but you know it's a problem before, then why bother now? Go with it, live with it. Swallow.

We have too much drama in life. Why relationships should be another drama?
Can life be that simple, "i like you, you like me. let's get together."
No drama.

Definisikan zinah, definisikan dosa.

2010-06-29T04:26:00.001-07:00

Kita, sama-sama manusia.
Kita, sama-sama tidak tau di mana dan kapan nafas akan berakhir.

Definisikan zinah, definisikan dosa.
Apakah kita tau pasti siapa yang akan menghakimi?
Apakah kita tau seratus persen apa itu zinah, apa itu dosa?

Tidak perlu pintar untuk menghakimi orang lain.
Tidak perlu pandai untuk menilai orang lain.

Artikan hidup, artikan mati.
Apakah kita tau siapa itu waktu?
Apakah kita tau siapa itu apa?

Kita, sama-sama punya dosa.
Kalau dosa itu ada.
Kita, sama-sama berzinah.
Kalau, zinah itu ada.

Senyum, tulus, lepaskan.
Tuhan mengerti.

----

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

31 Before 31

2010-05-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

here are the list of 31 things I will try to do before I turn 31.

1. give 31 gifts to 31 random people. (let see if you get lucky)
2. stick a post it on every ATM Machine I stop, all will be written: thank you, Universe
3. get a hair make-over
4. learn how to make sushi
5. bake my own birthday cake
6. learn 100 more German words
7. read all the unread books on my bookshelf
8. learn how to examine my car (in case of emergency (again))
9. taste all menthol cigarette
10. make a table of pros & cons of guys I've been dating
11. sell some un-used stuff in my room (phew, I can end-up only with my bed)
12. try every menu on my favorite restaurant
13. sing a song and record it
14. get a publisher deal
15. buy an iPad
16. study geography (at least know where all the countries are!)
17. learn how to use a contact lens, and wear it for a day
18. go to the post office and send postcards to 5 random friends
19. be someone's assistant for a day (who wants me?)
20. watch more horror movies (definitely not alone)
21. call a long-lost friend
22. go to the zoo and drink beers
23. try bikram yoga
24. send a letter to Oprah (really, pop?)
25. party like I've never been party before
26. book a ticket to Europe
27. buy a coloring book and color it nicely
28. get my favorite Barbie
29. cook dinner for friends
30. take pictures in lotsa places with one style, and make it as a collage
31. say I LOVE YOU

phew, that's quite a long list.. let's see if I can make all happen.
you can help me here to make it happen.

A letter from the past

2010-04-18T03:44:00.000-07:00

Dear future-smart-kick-ass-great-smile-book-movie-and-music-freak-husband,

I wonder if I know you or have yet to meet you. Either way, I know I think about you all the time. You see, my life is already complete. I am a smart, well-rounded (literally) woman that has great life, great job and is responsible. I have my own hobbies, likes and interest. I would absolutely love to share them with you, providing that you find your way into my life.

I wish your name is something beautiful but I can't be so sure. I want to think you're very tall but, not that tall. Anyway, I am not writing to you to ask your name or even what it is you look like so I will know you the moment I see you. The real reason I am is so I can tell you that I am no longer waiting for you.

That doesn't mean I am giving up on you ever arriving or that I am going to date a million guys to compensate for your inability to adhere to my odd demand that you show up by the time I'm 31. Instead, it means that I am just not going to look for you quite as hard anymore and just trust that, if you do decide to come along, my life will be enhanced, not "complete".

Hopefully, one day, you will come. But, if for some reason you don't, I will be fine. I have the best of friends, a great extended family and a strong sense of self-worth. That will get me through just about anything life has to throw my way. That doesn't mean I don't wish you were around to share things with.

So, until we meet, don't worry about me at all. Just don't give up finding me. I promise I'm around. Keep your eyes open because, I am sure as with all things, we won't find each other until the time is absolutely right.

Your-future-adorable-smart-ass-love-to-cook-wife.

Hilang Sudah

2010-04-01T07:29:00.001-07:00

seorang kakak,
seorang sahabat,
pergi sudah...

kujumpanya tak lama,
tapi ku tahu semua mimpinya...

seorang teman,
seorang keluarga,
istirahat selamanya...

kudengar suaranya,
tapi tak kulihat wujudnya...

hilang sudah
sapaan pagimu
hilang sudah
canda tawamu

kurasa lelahmu
kurasa resahmu

biar kusimpan maumu
dan kutunjukkan padamu

......suatu hari nanti

9:27:54 PM

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

"kamu tuh flat juga ya ternyata."

2010-03-31T13:37:00.000-07:00

"Omar W Kusuma I may never find all the answers. I may never understand why. I may never prove what I know to be true. But I know that I still have to try. If I die tomorrow. I'd be alright because I believe. That after we're gone. The spirit carries on. (Dream theater)

December 30, 2009 at 2:45pm via Facebook for BlackBerry "

today, no, yesterday around 8ish, I received a phone call from Tendon.
it was goes like this:

tendon: popy, kamu di mana
me: di bangka, kenapa ndon?
tendon: udah denger Omar meninggal?
me: hah? Omar? Omar mana?
tendon: Omar's Coffee
me: hah? hah? apaaaa? kenapa? booong ah.. apaan sih?
tendon: beneran, coba telvon maycle, atau bayu, katanya kecelakaan motor....

I was shocked. Lutut rasanya lemas. Diam. Tak percaya. Trying to deny. Berharap hanya April Mop belaka. Tapi tidak. Berita itu benar adanya. Menyesal kemarin malam tidak mampir ke tempat kamu. But maybe, that's the way it should be.

I just know Omar for quite a while, but we were like clicking in every conversation.
He was a nice host of his place. Always giving me his new drink, apparently I was his guinea pig. But for sure, the double shot espresso plus his special syrup succeed keeping me awake all night long. This past month he always text me and yelled "Pagiiiiiiii," around 7AM, and I used to reply around 10AM or 11AM and said,"Pagiii kakaaaaaaaaaaaa...", lalu dia ngomel-ngomel kalau jam 10-11 itu udah siang. Then starting his preach about "rejeki datangnya pagi-pagi tauuuk.."
Then I started giving him my reasons. He always laugh when I wrote "kakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

We discuss a lot mostly about everything. About coffee, life and why I'm still single.
This I always remember. He said this to me once,"kamu itu terlalu pintar. dan terlihat sangat pintar. laki-laki itu pasti minder. temen kamu di mana-mana. tapi ini asumsi aku ya."

And yes, he made jokes. Kadang-kadang garing juga. The last one, when I was standing, and he was standing next to me, he looked at me and said,"ternyata kamu flat juga ya..." Lantas aku bilang,"kamu pikir aku tivi, flat." But that was hilarious. I keep telling everyone about your joke.

Ah, too many little things I can remember about our conversations. I still can't believe you're really gone. You told me your dreams. And I promise you, next time in Europe, I'll go to Berlin and find the coffee shop you've told me.

I'll miss you. Already.
RIP, kakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

http://www.wikimu.com/News/DisplayNewsWisata.aspx?id=16076

A pray for a friend

2010-03-23T00:38:00.000-07:00

I just visited a friend, a close friend today. Unfortunately she got Lupus and have been ill this past one year. She used to be a very active woman, we happened once to work in the same office. and seeing her just lying there and do nothing, it breaks my heart. really. Her parents has spent so much money for her medication, and now they're in need. she just weight 38kg now, and it's sad.

I really wish for her health now. I will do anything I can do to help her. She still have the courage, she still have the spirit to live.

Whoever read this, please pray for her and send so much gratitude for your health.

kiddos

2010-03-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have one nephew and one niece. Renee and Reia. Renee is 4 and Reia is going to turn 3 this September. Yesterday I was babysitting for my sister. Since she's a single mom, I think it's okey for me once in a while taking care of her kiddos on Saturday night. I'm not going anywhere either.

And the kids, they are pretty adorable. They love stories, so every time I tell them stories about how they were being born, they both are very excited. They love jumping here and there too, well kids. I finally succeed to put them to bed on 10.30PM and my sister got home around 2.30 AM.

I just love them to death.

Are You Brave Enough Not To Believe In God?

2010-03-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

Since I can ever remember, I always fascinated by sky. The cloud, the stars, the moon, the sun.
Somehow it's just show me how small I am. It reminds me there are bigger things out there.
Here are some pictures of clouds and sunset. I took it up in the air and in Bali with my powershot G11.

It's quite good.

visiting a good friend

2010-03-20T00:47:00.000-07:00

It's nice to finally have time to visit my good friend, Olie, in Bali. It's been 2 years since she decided to move to Bali to heal her broken heart.

I finally find myself a cheap ticket, packed my bags in 2 days, then leave on Thursday. It's nice to have a quick getaway by yourself. You have time to reminiscing the past month of your life, what you've been up to, such a great conversation with yourself.

It turns out, Olie lives nearby the airport, it's only 10 minutes walking (cause of high-heels and heavy bags). We were catching up a lot and also on the next 3 days. Connecting all the missing links again. Too bad the weather wasn't really good. I caught a fever on the last day. Maybe because of all the beach visit.

After all, it was a great trip.

Sometimes

2010-03-16T22:27:00.001-07:00

Sometimes,
I want u to come over,
I will try outfits and u can shake ur head yes or no, I will throw the no's...

It will be fun, cause I'm fun to be around,
And I will make u something good to eat.

A simple thing.

100 + Things About Me

2010-02-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

100 + Things About Me

1. I share the date of my birthday with Grand Duchess Tatiana of Russia
2. I am the youngest child
3. I began reading when I was 5 years old
4. Not longer after, I learned how to read cursive upside down too
5. I was class favorite in kindergarten until high school :p
6. My show & tell items probably won me the boys’ vote…
7. I’ve nearly dropped my jaw (in real meaning)
8. I love swimming
9. I'm a FRIENDS addict
10. I must watch it at least 1 episode every day
11. Never broken a bone to date *knock on wood*
12. I have 4 stitches in my body
13. Eleven is my favorite number
14. You’ll rarely catch me combing my hair
16. I am an 80’s child
17. My first boyfriend was my neighbor
18. There, there
19. In love with my Canon G11
20. Jeff Buckley's songs are awesome
21. I still wanna go to school
22. I was a cheerleader
23. Which was, proudly, I'm good at my academic too
24. I blame myself for not learning how to play guitar and piano
25. I learned English since I was 6
26. I graduated from diploma school when I was 21
27. I’ve only made one 5 in math in all my years of school…
28. And, yes, I was devastated because it was my favorite/best/easiest subject
29. Until that time, I had plans of majoring in math, but nixed it after that!
30. Secretly love some country music.
31. Start making my own money when I was cheerleading and dancing
32. I ended up with a broadcasting degree
33. And never once work in the tv station
34. I just once work in the radio when I was in college
35. Now I'm self-employed
36. I still wanna learn my German language
37. I'm in love with my middle name "Aranda"
38. My grandma said it's an Orchid , Aranda abbreviated in trade journals Aranda,^[1] is an intergeneric hybrid between the orchid genera Arachnis and Vanda (Arach x V).
40. But my grandpa said it's taken also from Pablo Aranda Ruiz, a spanish statement
41. It's just lovely when your name has 2 meanings.
42. I love dogs better than cats
43. My grandma at first wanted to name me: Rebecca Christine
44. Growing up, I spent my weekends at one or both of my grandparents houses
45. I’ve had a pet puppy named Bandit when I was in kindergarten
46. He was kidnapped once!
47. My mom like to joke that I was addopted.
48. Notice how our face look-alike, I believe her no more.
49. I’m miss direction
50. Yet I drive here and there
51. I was in the drum band team in elementary school
52. I was the majorette and can play the drum
53. I also played volleyball in 7th grade
54. I ran track for three years in high school
55. ..and just realize I was pretty athletic
56. I am a drama queen
57. I was in Girl Scouts
58. My first vehicle (that I paid for) was a Corolla
59. In a one year period from mid fall of my senior year through mid fall of my freshman year of college, vehicles I drove were hit 2 times
60. The first time the car was parked and I wasn’t within 50 yards or more of them
61. The second time I was…because of the stupid truck driver.
62. I want to write a book.
63. I’m thinking of writing one soon.
64. I’m not taught in html/web design
65. I want to take a course in html simply for resume purposes
66. I wish I had more time updating my blog
67. My first favorite computer games were frog and pacman
68. I believe I was born in the wrong continent
69. I’ve ’surfed’ the web
70. I miss using a PC
71. I’ve owned an ipod, but because I rarely used it, only when travelling
72. I’m a Canon girl
73. I need more cameras
74. I love to read…I’m very much a bookworm
75. I love traveling
76. I intend for traveling at least once a year
77. I’ve been missing Europe all the time
78. I miss Perth too
79. I love coffee
80. Currently, my favorite color is black…
81. My ‘realistic’ dream job (in other words, would pay the bills) is to become a Special Agent for the FBI
82. And, yes, I am working towards that dream job currently (lying)
83. However, if it paid the bills and provided insurance, paid time off, and a stable retirement plan, I’d switch to photography (portraiture and commercial with some weddings mixed in) in a heartbeat
84. I can tell you in detail what I was doing when I heard about/witnessed on tv about the Tsunami, Princess Di’s death, and 9-11.
85. I have a knack for remembering details like the above events, and of conversations (work and non work related)
86. Despite having dark brown hair all of my life, I do have sympathy black moments
87. I have been a black for about 24 hours once
88. I have no desire to ever go black again!
89. I lost 2 granpas and 1 grandma
90. I’ve never been to Disneyland
91. I’ve plan to soon
92. I’ve only been dehydrated once in my life
93. I hate chicken pox
94. I heart Jason Mraz, was so lucky to meet him in person
95. I once considered getting an associates in photography/graphic design
96. I’m still seriously considering getting a PhD in Criminal Justice
97. Growing up, I wanted to be a school teacher, meteorologist, architect, lawyer, and physical therapist.
98. I’m none of those things today, although I’m educationally qualified to be a college instructor!
99. If I could only pick five places to visit before I die, I’d want to go to the British Isles/Ireland, Germany, Iceland, Canada, and New Zealand
100. I’ve never had surgical procedures in my life
101. I’m one of the few people who gets their money’s worth of bags
102. I never wore glasses
103. I wanna change my passport so I can travel more
104. I’ve owned my dream car, a Ford Ranger
105. I traded it in last fall, however, for something more practical…a Ford Fusion
106. I hate waiting on hold w/ customer service (especially when its work related)
107. My biggest pet peeve is when someone wrote my name Poppy… it's POPY

ku tutup hariku...

2010-02-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

ku tutup hari ini, dengan doa
seperti doaku untukmu

ku tutup hari ini, dengan tulus
seperti kau tutup pintu hatimu untukku

ku tutup hari ini, dengan mimpi
seperti mimpiku ingin bersamamu

ku tutup hari ini, dengan senyum
seperti ku tutup ceritaku denganmu

doaku, tulusku, mimpiku, senyumku...

hanya bisa tertawa

2010-02-04T10:35:00.001-08:00

malam ini,
aku hanya bisa tertawa

malam ini,
aku tidak ingin menangis

ternyata hatimu bukan untukku

malam ini,
kugariskan sebuah cerita

malam ini,
kuberitakan pada dunia

ternyata dirimu tidaklah untukku

terima kasih untuk semua rasa ini
indah, terlalu indah
walau hanya untuk diriku sendiri

It Wouldn't Hurt

2010-01-19T11:34:00.000-08:00

Yes, we've all done this a thousand times, but one more little quiz never hurt anyone...

A. Attached or single? single
B. Best friend? my guys and my girls
C. Cake or pie? cheese cake, apple pie
D. Dog or cat? dog
E. Essential item? bobby pins, lip gloss, sunglasses
F. Favorite color?black
G. Gummy bears or worms? gummy bears
H. Hometown? definitely not Jakarta
I. Favorite indulgence? french fries or any ice cream
J. January or July? January , there it goes
K. Kids? none
L. Life isn’t complete without? bags and shoes
M. Marriage date? n/a
N. Number of brothers and sisters? 1 sister
O. Oranges or apples? apples
P. Phobias? big spiders, road crossing
Q. Quote? Make a lot of money and everything will follow
R. Reasons to smile? My family, my friends, and the life I lead
S. Season of choice? Autumn
T. Travel dreams? Greece & Croatia
U. Unknown fact about me? My parents almost named me Rebecca, don't think that suits me..
V. Vegetable? Corn, broccoli
W. Worst habit? i broke stuff
X. X-ray or ultrasound? neither
Y. Your favorite restaurants? anywhere serves good wine
Z. Zodiac sign? Gemini

Maaf

2010-01-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

Maaf,
Jika rasa ini tumbuh

Maaf,
Jika sayang itu datang

Maaf,
Jika ingin kubutuh hangat pelukmu

Setiap kata
Setiap seru
Setiap ucapan dari mu, tampak indah untukku

Setiap senyum
Setiap tawa
Setiap simpul dari mu, sepertinya hanya untukku

Maaf,
Jika kuingin bersamamu...

and I Thank You, GOD

2009-12-30T21:22:00.000-08:00

and I thank you God, for January to December 2009.... - it's been a long year, so much drama happening, yet it makes me wiser and love life even more.. mostly it has been a long December, yet I'm happy I'll get thru this.

and I thank you God, for every tears that keeps me stronger... - breaking up it's not easy thing. I come to a point where I have to keep the memory, all of our love, our joy, our tears, our fight.

and I thank you God, for every person I've meet then make them a part of my life... - friends, they come and go, friends that become enemy, call the frenemy. It's all nature's selection. family stays here, no matter how much they've hurt you. It's the blood related thing.

and I thank you God, for every smile I give and I get... - i am thankful for every small part of my face that can create a smile. I might not be the most beautiful woman on earth, but when I smile, it's real. I never fake a smile.

and I thank you God, for every songs that accompany me thru good and bad times... - music is one of the most important thing in my life. each and every songs create a soundtrack. but this year, really a jason mraz year. everything is about him, yet I know universe will let me meet him again.

and I thank you God, for every meals, every breath, every water that I take... - gain weigh, lose weight, it's all Your gift. I breath, I sleep, I awake because of You and only You.

and I thank you God, for all the energy, all the power, all the blessing... - I have this certain energy that keep me sane, that can give me another strength to be strong for my friends. Keep me this way.

and I thank you God, for every beautiful mind... - where I can put words like these, where I can have all photographic memories to places I've visited.

and I'm sorry God, for all the sins I've done, for doubting even in a blink of an eye... and I thank you God, for giving me chances to thank You.

Thank you God, thank you Universe....

---

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

Hope? Serendipity?

2009-12-23T19:33:00.000-08:00

Bye 2009, Helloooow 2010....

This year has been quite hard. Now, I've decided I need more serendipity in my life and that I'm going to have to allow for those moments to happen more often.

My resolution for 2010 will be to create a little serendipity each day. I will try to break my routine, get out of the car, open myself up to new conversations with new people. I will carry my camera more often, won't rush straight home to find only my bed and television, will judge and read books based on their covers.

The irony is that you can't create serendipity; it simply has to happen. But I can make myself more available and find and store away those moments that break up the days and weeks.

No sense waiting until 2010, though.

Konser KOIN untuk Keadilan

2009-12-16T23:01:00.000-08:00

KONSER KOIN UNTUK KEADILAN: Cukup Satu Prita Saja

Jakarta, 16 Desember 2009—
Sejumlah musisi besar dan pengamat musik tanah air bergabung dalam konser amal tanggal 20 Desember 2009 yang bertempat di Hard Rock Café Jakarta, dalam rangka merayakan Hari Kesetiakawanan Nasional yang jatuh pada tanggal 20 Desember setiap tahunnya.

Ide konser ini tercetus tak lama setelah Prita Mulyasari divonis harus membayar uang sejumlah Rp. 204.000.000,- kepada pihak Rumah Sakit Omni International atas tuntutan pencemaran nama baik. Sebagai bentuk kesetiakawanan dan solidaritas, maka dibentuklah tim panitia konser yang terdiri dari jajaran pencinta dan pengamat musik Indonesia dan menamakan diri sebagai KOIN UNTUK KEADILAN.

Konser Koin Untuk adalah bentuk rasa kesetiakawanan dan pernyataan sikap untuk melawan ke tidakadilan agar tak ada lagi kasus semacam Prita yang lainnya. Nama KOIN sendiri terinspirasi dari gerakan masyarakat untuk mengumpulkan koin dalam rangka membantu Prita melunasi dendanya. KOIN juga bisa diartikan bebas sebagai akronim dari 'Kepedulian Orang Indonesia'. Inilah simbol gerakan moral dari dunia hiburan tanah air untuk memberi himbauan kepada pemerintah sekaligus menyebarkan inspirasi kepada kaum muda bahwa setiap warga negara memiliki kedudukan yang sama di dalam hukum dan kehidupan politik, sosial, ekonomi dan budayanya.

Musisi dan tokoh hiburan yang akan tampil dan ikut andil dalam menyatakan penolakan terhadap ketidakadilan ini adalah Slank, GIGI, Ari Lasso, Nidji, Cokelat, Sheila on 7, Titi DJ, Ada Band, Andra & The Backbone, Padi, She, Sherina, Audy, Drive, Seringai, Pee Weegaskins, Funky Kopral, Kunci, Marvells, Drew, Saykoji, Ronaldisko, Endah N Rhesa, Black Star, Domino, Ika Putri, Gruvi, J-Flow, dan Patent.

Semua yang terlibat dalam acara ini, baik pengisi acara, venue konser, maupun panitia, bepartisipasi secara sukarela dan tidak menerima bayaran sepeser pun dari pihak manapun.

Konser akan digelar mulai pukul 15.00 – 21. 00 WIB. Masyarakat yang berminat untuk datang dan menonton diharapkan untuk menyumbang sebesar Rp. 50.000,- sebagai tanda solidaritas. "Seluruh sumbangan masyarakat di konser ini akan diberikan pada Prita sebagai simbol kesetiakawanan dan bentuk kepedulian kita sesama bangsa Indonesia. Berikutnya, beliau yang akan meneruskan ke pihak yang membutuhkan," papar Adib Hidayat, Ketua Panitia Konser Koin untuk Keadilan, "dan bukan dalam bentuk koin. Itu hanya icon saja," jelasnya lebih lanjut.

Semua yang terlibat dalam acara ini, baik pengisi acara, venue konser, maupun panitia, bepartisipasi secara sukarela dan tidak menerima bayaran sepeser pun dari pihak manapun.

Meskipun gugatan terhadap Prita telah dibatalkan oleh pihak Rumah Sakit, namun acara seperti ini penting untuk tetap diadakan agar suara masyarakat tak dianggap remeh dan kejadian serupa tak lagi terjadi di masa mendatang. Cukup satu Prita saja yang mengalami ketidakadilan.

Untuk informasi lebih lanjut, silahkan hubungi:
Julisa Tambunan – 08129922410, julisa.tambunan@gmail.com
Adib Hidayat – 08121940640, adib.hidayat@gmail.com

---

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

Aku, Rindu dan Sayangmu

2009-12-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

suaramu, tenangkan hatiku
suaramu, hilangkan lelahku

sayangmu, sejukkan jiwaku
sayangmu, hangatkan diriku

satu kata darimu, gantikan seribu kata darinya
satu sayang darimu, gantikan seribu hari dengannya

aku, rindu, dan sayangmu...

As I Write This

2009-12-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

- I remember the perfect get away I had yesterday. It was, it was great, it was a gift. The beach, the sand, the beers, cigs, just perfect. Meeting the best peeps in my life.
- I remember how much I miss your present, I miss your hugs, your kiss, and your tender touch.
- I remember how does it feel to have you in my arms, to sleep within your hugs, and making you breakfast in the morning.

di tengah dentuman megabass ini, aku kangen kamu!

Breathtaking

2009-11-04T21:18:00.001-08:00

I wake up this morning wondering why I'm asleep and if I should be doing something.

I'm not sure what to talk about, but I'm trying not to be so bad. Sat myself down to put some thoughts. I left my room in a horrible mess and need to get myself back reorganized. So lost.

I do miss some places, some friends for multiple reasons.

This Is It

2009-11-02T03:21:00.000-08:00

MJ fans at the time became accustomed to Michael confining his remarks to only a few words, but Oprah's conversational style and ability to create a safe space for her guests allowed Michael to open up and discuss some difficult topics. He denied sleeping in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber and buying the bones of Joseph (John) Merrick, the Elephant Man as reported in the tabloids.

Michael: It's crazy. Why would I want to sleep in a chamber? (laughs)
Oprah: The rumor was that you were sleeping in the chamber because you didn't want to grow old.
Michael: That's stupid. It's completely made up. I'm embarrassed. I'm willing to forgive the press, or forgive anybody, I was taught to love and forgive, which I do have in my heart, but please don't believe these crazy, horrifying things.
Oprah: Did you buy the Elephant man's bones? Were you trying to get them for...
Michael: No. That's another stupid story. I love the story of the Elephant man, he reminds me of me a lot, and I could relate to it, it made me cry because I saw myself in the story, but no I never asked for the...where am I going to put some bones?...
Michael: ....and why would I want some bones?
Oprah: I don't know. So where did that story come from?
Michael: Someone makes it up, and everybody believes it. If you hear a lie often enough, you start to believe it.

-----
That was the quote I take from MJ's interivew with Oprah Winfrey on 1993. As far as I remember since then I was becoming a huge fan of Michael Jackson.

I started collecting his cassetes, posters, and updated about everything about him. And in 1996, I cried to my dad to see him in concert in Singapore. It was really awsome. I was with my sister, my cousins and my bestfriend. I was crying and screaming as loud as I can to make him hear. It was just amazing how to see him performing in front of my eyes.

He was the man of talent. God and universe gave him everything. His perfect voice, his moves and everything.

Being a huge fan continue until I was entered university. Some friends' making fun of it and I don't care. I even use his story for my english paper. I never care about the gossips. I don't care of what people say about him. Cause for me, it's hard for being him. It's just not easy. And if he must did stupid stuff, it's just him being a human. No body is perfect.

As quoted:
Michael also candidly discussed the color of his skin changing over the years. He admitted to having a skin condition called vitiligo where your skin loses melanin, the pigment that determines the color of your skin, hair and eyes.

Michael: It's in my family, my father said it's on his side. I can't control it, I don't understand. I mean it makes me very sad. I don't want to go into my medical history because that is private, but that's the situation here.
Oprah: So OK, I just want to get this straight, you are not taking anything to change the color of your skin?
Michael: Oh God no, we tried to control it and using make-up evens it out because it makes blotches on my skin. I have to even out my skin.
----

On June 25, 2009 the King of Pop passed away. Whatever the reasons are, I don't give a damn. He's dead and that's it. You don't need to say that he has been murdered or what-so-ever.

The saddest part was, it was a week before the upcoming concert, his final concert This Is It. Millions of fan were really dissapointed. Luckily they shoot the rehearse and turn it into a movie. There u can see how full of love he was, how professional he was, and such a great person he was.

I was watching This Is It again last night, with my college friends, and at the end of the movie, they were like saying,"now we know why you're admiring him that much."
I really am glad for now other people who doesn't like him at the beginning finally know why. It might be a little too late, but I'm just happy. As he's gonna live forever in my heart.

Final quote:
At the end of the interview, Oprah asked Michael, "what do you want the world to know about you most?"

Michael: Like to be remembered for?
Oprah: Not to be remembered for - what about now? Forget remembered!
Michael: Oh known for now! As to be an artist, a great artist. I, I love what I do and I would love people to love what I do and to be loved. I just simply want to be loved wherever I go. All over the world, because I love people of all races from my heart with true affection.

You're just one of a kind.
I love you.

----

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

"Jelek, Tikam Saja..."

2009-10-27T20:28:00.000-07:00

Berawal dari makian seseorang yang tidak saya kenal di twitter. Ia memaki vokalis sebuah band besar yang pernah mencapai penjualan album sebanyak 1.000.000 copy dan RBT yang lumayan tinggi dan jadwal manggung yang cukup padat. Ia bilang musiknya nggak bermutu, nggak enak and they should be dismissed.

Siapa sih kita bisa menghakimi kalau musik itu jelek? Siapa sih kita harus sebenci itu sama orang yang juga sama-sama berkarya, bekerja and make a living? Not itu cuma ada Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Si, Do. Mau dimainkan seperti apa, saya rasa itu hak mereka. Mau menggunakan kunci B, kunci C, itupun suka-suka mereka. Mau main drumnya jungkir balikpun, it's their rights!

Soal musik, semua masalah selera. Kalau kita nggak suka, just leave them alone. Kenyataannya 1.000.000 orang di Indonesia membeli album mereka, kenyataannya they earnt a lot by making "bad" music. Kalau katanya musik mereka jelek.

No, it's not about the money. Tapi, bukannya kita harus berterimakasih ya sama band-band yang sekarang lagi laku-lakunya. Name it: Radja, ST12, D'Masiv, Kangen Band, Hijau Daun, Wali and whatsoever. Bukankah karena mereka juga industri ini tetap berjalan? Bukankah karena mereka juga jadi banyak muncul musisi-musisi lain dengan aliran musik berbeda yang membuat industri kita lebih semarak? Bukankah karena mereka juga kita jadi terpacu dengan kesuksesan yang bisa mereka raih tapi belum kita raih? Kalau mereka bisa, kenapa kita nggak?

Di dunia ini banyak sekali jenis aliran musik, kembali lagi ke selera tanpa harus menghakimi. Don't judge. You'll never know. Siapa tau orang yang sekarang kita maki-maki, kita hujat-hujat, malah bisa membantu kita. Anything could happen.

So, whoever it is, support your local music!

More Than A Friend .. All Too Much

2009-10-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

Just love the lyric:

Monday morning I call you up

How was your weekend?

I just can't stop

It's Tuesday and you're stressed again

I'll rub your back I'm such a good friend

Wednesday and I'm feeling fine

Another guy moved you down his line

Thursday we'd go rent a flick

Watch it close together we still don't click

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

Friday and the weekend's here

I didn't make plans

In case you're clear

I'll be round at half past nine

You said you're going out

I said "Have a nice time"

Saturday we've got a date

It's a daytime thing

You've gotta be somewhere late

Anyway I'm next to you

There's nothing more I'd rather do

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

I can't stop now I can't stop now

Can't turn back now

Wouldn't want to anyhow

Sunday is a day of rest

But I've gotta get something off my chest

I wanted to tell you on the phone

But I'm coming over

You're alone

Things are cool

Don't get me wrong

But I want more

Check out this song

Together we can make it work

I hope you don't think that I'm a jerk

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

I think of you as more than a friend

There I've said it again

There I've said it again

There I've said it again

There I've said it again

And again and again

And again and again

My Nagging Life

2009-10-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been consume with thought of change. It's not unusual for me to think about change, but lately the thoughts have been growing louder and more persistant.

And I can't seem to drown them out as hard as I try.

"Take a big risk, pack up your life and move across country. Do something that scares you. Just take a risk."

It's not that these thoughts are bad, but when they start screaming, it's really hard for me to breathe.

Stagnant.
Sort of stuck in bubbly of safety living.
Comfort zone.

"How about start dating again? Take a chance with that."

And these thoughts, they just don't stop.

I can't make them stop.

Not Me!

2009-10-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

I am not a morning person, once i've been, but now, never again. I sleep late, sometimes passing thru sunshine. That explain why I'm not a morning person.

I am not as sweet as people seem to think. I'm not always patient, especially when I got tired or cranky. I'm not always as happy as I look. I'm not always good at returning phone calls. And I'm no good with directions.

I am not a mother, not a wife, and not a girlfriend.

I am a fan of sushi and any other kind of seafood. I am not a fan of liars, cheaters, people who are fake, ignorant or arrogant.

I am not a girl who will settle for anything less than butterflies. I am not a girl who will ever forget her friends. I am not a girl who needs to be in a relationship.

I'm not the type of girl who falls easily but when I do, I come crashing down. I'm not a girl that can hold a grudge or the type of girl who can hide her emotion.

Hurray for being me.

The Must Have Meatball

2009-09-20T00:48:00.001-07:00

Eid-Ul-Fitr or most likely heard as Idul Fitri means celebrating the breaking of the fasting month. It marks the end of Ramadan, the holy month of fasting, and is celebrated during the first three days of the month of Syawal.

On the day of Eid, Muslims gather early in the morning in outdoor locations or mosques to perform the Eid prayer. It is not a festival related in any way to worldly affairs. Its significance is purely spiritual. Here the Muslims thank God for having given them the will, the strength and the endurance to observe fast and obey His commandment during the holy month of Ramadan.

The Muslims celebrate this day to celebrate the performance of 30 days of fasting both mentally and physically. The Takbir(Muslim prayer) is recited after having confirmation that the moon of Syawal is sighted on the eve of the last day of Ramadan. It continues until the start of the Eid prayer.

Before the Eid prayer begins, every Muslim who is able must pay Zakat al-fitr an alms for the month of Ramadan. This equates to about 2 kilograms (4.4 lb) of a basic foodstuff (wheat, barley, dates, raisins, etc.), or its cash equivalent, and is typically collected at the mosque. This is distributed to needy local Muslims prior to the start of the Eid prayer. It can be given at any time during the month of Ramadan.

In some of the muslim countries, a holiday of three days is declared and the atmosphere is of total festivity and joyiety everywhere. Peole great each other by saying 'Selamat Idul Fitri, Mohon Maaf Lahir dan Bathin' and hug each other to show their happiness on this day.

In Indonesia and many other countries a national holiday is declared to celebrate this festival.

As for my family, the routine start on the eve before Eid. The family from my father's side usually gathered in my grandparents' house, but since my grandma passed away last year, we now gathered at my aunt's house. We eat great food, pray together and sit in a circle and everybody has to speak up their mind.

In the morning of Eid, after praying, we go to the family of my mother's side. My grand mother and my mom's step sister family. The special food in our family most likely the same as most of other family In Indonesia, we have Ketupat (sticky rice), along with Opor Ayam, Rendang, but at my mom's step sister, she always cook this special meatball.

Something's missing though. I no longer with my boyfriend this year. Miss him much.

Now I wish you to have a blessed Eid. Let's forgive and forget.

Just Say Goodbye

2009-09-13T13:21:00.001-07:00

This conversation addapted from the Gilmore Girls season 1.
It's one of my favorit scene.

Lorelai: Sorry

Max Medina: I was the one who started the kissed

Lorelai: I'm the one who knocked it up to NC 17

Max Medina: Honestly, I don't think that it could be so complicated

Lorelai: I know

Max Medina: You told me, I don't wanna listen, I don't wanna know

Lorelai: It's not your fault. If I hadn't act like a 2 years old and try to run away and pretend you were what you are to me, then we wouldn't have kissed and everything will be fine

Max Medina: It was a great kiss

Lorelai: I know. I really really like you Max Medina

Max Medina: I really really like you Lorelai Gilmore. Good bye, Lorelai.

Find Word. >>popy

2009-09-12T13:24:00.001-07:00

popy (n) (adj.) po •pi:

1. belonging to or of the female species;

2. does not really enjoy flowers from guy;

3. can often be found in the company of friends;

4. overly sensitive, enjoys dry sense of humor and/or sarcasm;

5. artist manager, event freelancer, blogger;

6. likes black and Japanesse food;

7. also referred to as Popy.

Synonyms: neat, awesome, witty, clever.

"I wish I was more like Popy."

Crazy Traffic

2009-09-11T08:13:00.001-07:00

Apparently all responses must be two words:

1. Where is your cell phone? Bag pocket

2. Your hair? Grow longer

3. Your mother? High tempered

4. Your father? Is there

5. Your favorite food? Sushi Tei

6. Your dream last night? Him again

7. Your favorite drink? Cold beer

8. Your dream/goal? Own company

9. What room are you in? The car

10. Your hobby? Shoes shopping

11. Your fear? World end

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Not here

13. Where were you last night? Room, home

14. Something that you aren't? Thin, rich

15. Muffins? Cheese muffins

16. Wish list item? Potato head

17. Where did you grow up? DKI Jakarta

18. Last thing you did? Night tea

19. What are you wearing? Legging, tops

20. Your TV? My room

21. Your pets? All stuffed

22. Friends? Frenemies

23. Your life? Happy, interesting

24. Your mood? Sleepily productive

25. Missing someone? Him, him

26. Vehicle? Bmw

27. Something you're not wearing? Cap

28. Your favorite store? Watsons

29. Your favorite color? Black

30. When was the last time you laughed? Earlier today

31. Last time you cried? Last week

32. Your best friend? A few

33. One place that I go to over and over? My wonderland

34. One person who emails me regularly? Work person

35. Favorite place to eat? Sushi tei

*crazy I can write this in Jakarta's traffic jam*

I Miss You, Exclamation Point

2009-09-09T14:56:00.001-07:00

Fukfukfukfukfukfukfukfukfuk...
Why do I have to miss you?????

In some ways, the one who cares more is the victim. Because the one who cares more, is inevitably the one who will suffer more. The aim is clear. Hook someone in, and make them care for you, whilst you remain relatively emotionless.

That's why I hate that I miss you!

Ah, me!

Hanging Out, Dating, Kissing, Thinking

2009-09-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

What are these Indonesian guys thinking?

Things become even more complicated when you actually like someone. Jakarta is not the kind of place you casually bump into people you know. Schedules are tight, everyone is busy, the city will not stop for one person. So 'dates' entail planning in minute detail. Or even no planning at all.

Take this guy, named him "John Doe" for example. The situation is disturbing. I like him. I think he likes me. We have fun, he practises good personal hygiene, he's intelligent, interesting, and funny.

But do I ever see the damned guy? We have a virtual (non) relationship via text-messaging. I have been in a (non) relationship with John Doe for only a month. Hardly enough time to start stamping your feet and whining 'what's going on?'. But I literally don't know what to think. Do I see him so rarely because he spends all his spare time screwing his ex? Is it any of my business? Nope.

Why all the text messages? Is this the manner nowadays? Do people still sit having coffee together? Do the manual things.

I have an intuitive feeling that I am somehow not 'ideal girlfriend' material, but then I guess this leads to the real question, what do I expect from him?

Well, good point. I don't know. What do I expect? More hanging out, less dating. Dating has connotations of cafes, bars and expensive drinks and I'm too damned poor for dating. Hanging out suggests more friendship, more trust, more talking. I guess, really, when it comes down to it, I expect to know what's going on, instead of being in this bizarre paralysis of unknowing, unsure if you're being taken for a ride, gently dumped, or just... not even thought about.

Why have I become so ridiculously neurotic? I found myself reading crap for the neurotic female mind, such as the dating bible 'He's just not that into you', and scouring its pages for tell-tale signs of impending (non)relationship ending.

Are you neurotic? Tick.
Are you depressed? Not really,
Does he let you down? Well, he doesn't call when he says he's going to...
Does he call at all? Nope, more text messages.
Why not? Because he's busy.

No one is that busy! He's just not that into you! You are a LOSER! Get back in the dating pool!

Great.

I think I need to get out more.
Or oh, not to be here.
Oh, to be in fatherland.

Need a translator

2009-09-07T13:38:00.000-07:00

My life is boring. I can't figure out if I'm totally just crazy or haven't yet figured out how to talk to guys. Especially in relationships. I turn into an idiot. A rambling everything sounds stupid idiot. I need a translator. I'll figure that out later.

I have nothing new to say on anything. Pretty much want to send him a message saying it was up to him. And if that goes like it's been, than I'll be the same as I was before. And that's okay. I guess. It'll suck but I can't do anything about it. It's totally and completely up to him. Scary turn of events. Whatever.

I'm bored. I hate when I'm sick.

do this and laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!!!

Go to http://maps.google.com/

Click on get directions.

From New York, New York.

To Paris, France.

Then read line #23.

that is all.

The time where I got sick... again

2009-09-06T11:46:00.001-07:00

um yea. I got sick. again. no idea with what. god damn it I'm tired of being sick. and I think this time it comes with a fever. so I can feel like death warmed over. Its hot. really.

now its back to watching stupid television. and listening to mum and dad. music blaring. windows rattling. I enjoy it. Really I do. time to go back to sleeping on the bed...

p.s. I smell like vicks vapor rub.... yummy

a diamond

2009-09-06T07:56:00.001-07:00

Let me say it clearly, just once:

"Aku berliannya kamu. Di antara batu-batu lain, aku berlian. Kamu nggak jaga aku baik-baik. Di antara banyaknya laki-laki yang bisa aku pilih, aku pilih kamu! Kalau memang kamu sia-siain aku, aku akan pilih orang lain. Dan kamu nggak akan ketemu orang lain yang segitu sayangnya sama kamu..."

No Band-Aid

2009-09-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

The Popy I knew was a force of nature. Passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to me? I've gone soft!

I'm no more than... ordinary! What happened to me? I am raised to be an extraordinary human being.

Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy! But not me!!

Overjoyed

2009-09-05T11:52:00.001-07:00

1. Join me in __ the cold of rain
2. Put a little __ smile __ in your day!
3. Happiness is __ what you make of life
4. __dazed__ and confused
5. I'm waiting for __ you! I hate being alone
6.__ ice cream_ is hard to resist
7. And as for Sunday, I'm looking forward to __ rest, enjoying the beautiful day, I want to __ relax_!

Can I have any yummy treats for tomorrow?

I'm Vanilla

2009-09-04T11:42:00.001-07:00

She has the face u can notice from across the room: dimples, great eyes, straight hair that shines. If she's a superhero she'd be wonder woman. If a man preferred chocolate, there's always her with her model figure and striking beauty. She marked the market on chocolate.

What would a anyman have for me, the vanilla? No one ever chose vanilla over either of the classic.

Don't tell me men don't care about manicures, watches and "it" bags. What's the use in comparisons when I can't change who I am? And why would I want to?

Well, at least I'm a woman who knows who she is.

Again

2009-09-03T14:22:00.001-07:00

writing my name on Dubai Desert...
2007

one of the greatest feeling...

a Popy

2009-09-03T12:46:00.001-07:00

I really wish computer could get to the point where I could think and it happened. There are some scary consequences to that though...

Hhh, it's been pretty hard weeks for me.
If you can't talk to me, let me contribute this to you.

How to get along with me:
* give me companionship, affection and freedom
* engage with me in conversation and laughter
* don't try to change my style. accept me the way I am
* don't tell me what to do
* I dislike annoying people

What I like being me:
* being optimistic
* spontanious and free-spirited
* outspoken and outrageous
* take risks

What I hate being me:
* not having enough time to do all the things I want
* get lost a lot in fantasies
* think way too much and melodramatic

I want to contribute to the world, try and stop me....

Halfway Thoughts

2009-09-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Days pass by so fast sometimes. This week, it's almost weekend, it feels as though it just started! This year, it's almost december.

I feel like I'm waiting for something, and this waiting is stressful, very stressful. Are you superstitious? I am. Sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

Huff, I wish I could replace the custom of shaking hands with a hug.

I miss breakfast.

Sleep Shivering

2009-09-01T14:16:00.001-07:00

Not sure how I'm going to get back to normal sleep time, since I feel like I never sleep.

I sleep late, up early.
Sleeping at night is a little hard, I wake up wondering why I'm asleep and if I should be doing something. I want more time, more energy.

*sigh*
I miss Europe for multiple reasons.

Pale September

2009-08-31T14:55:00.001-07:00

Love, does not happen after thirty. What happens then is merely familiarity and comfort, a cosy feeling of acquaintance, a false sense of intimacy and affection that serves to stave off the void for a little longer.

When it comes to relationship. I'm always on my way out, ready to jump. Bag slung over shoulder, moving on, ticket in hand, a flight, a boat, a train. It's a solo occupation. I just lived with it until it became part of my soul, and every night was just jumping again and again, senseless, exalted, perfect. I don't know if I can give it up.

I'm sitting in my room, contemplating on life, sipping coffee and smoking cigarettes, at peace with what I know, what I have learned: that real life is always inadequate until the retelling of it makes it glorious, victorious, tragic and beautiful.

I wonder why life is never enough for me.

I Hate You

2009-08-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

Love this quote very much...

1. I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.
2. I hate the way you drive my car.
3. I hate it when you stare
4. I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind.
5. I hate you so much it makes me sick - it even makes me rhyme.
6. I hate the way you're always right.
7. I hate it when you lie.
8. I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry.
9. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call.
10. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

My Night

2009-08-29T04:54:00.001-07:00

The night didn't end for me, it never fucking ended. Now I want the night to end. I hate the fucking night. It's full of ghosts and dreams, whispers and taunts, and when I wake up it's to an empty bed and feelings so acute that being awake is like a permanent scream.

My ass-fucked by life, sadly, confusedly sifting through memories of times when I didn't give a shit, because now I did, and it hurt pretty bad.

I realized the other day that I spent thirty years waiting for life to start, without ever fucking realizing it had.

That kind of sucked.
Rest of my life begins tomorrow.

Do You Want Me?

2009-08-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight was one of those nights. Too many identities, too many words, too little time.

Geez,

I've been terribly alone

And forgotten in Jakarta.

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, I just need to get away. I'm so lonely in here, I know for sure it's a great city but I just want to get out and meet new people, I want to sit and have coffee with new friends and new people who barely knows me and I can talk to, and this has been going round my head and...uuuuh.

I don't want nightmares, so I don't sleep no more.

Jammed

2009-08-26T21:15:00.001-07:00

Do you ever get those moments where you want to go and punch a wall? Good, because if you do, then you know exactly how i feel at this very moment. If you don't then you'll figure it out over time.

I feel as if people who don't know me very well, won't totally understand the crazy pace that is this post. Its written by a caffeine crazed person. Or so it seems. If you have total and utter lack of understanding this post, then pick an iconic character from some TV show who has a fast paced rambling ability and then picture them reading this out loud. Otherwise, I guarantee that it won't make sense. Just like my sucktastic spelling skills at the moment. Confused? Great, I am successful.

My heart is mad. 100% angry. The feeling of quiet death and oncoming hurt makes me love life. I lie, I just feel like utter crap. AND to make it better, I must wake up!!!!!

woohoooo.

*throws confetti*

Money, Money, Money

2009-08-26T16:10:00.001-07:00

Bad news: I don't see any of the cash until September, I have few in my bank account and am broke, with a pile of bills.

What to do for cash? Which isn't stripping, prostitution or selling drugs?

Ugh, recession. Sucks.

I'm starting to make money from my jobs, but as we all know, freelancing is not the most reliable form of income, so any suggestions for money-earners very welcome. Get married to the rich guy or become a prostitute? (*knock on wood)Hmm, let's weigh the options up... Hahahaaa.

Details in Fabric

2009-08-26T10:56:00.000-07:00

Night, peeps. What you've been up to? What's new? What's inspiring you? How's your love life?

For me, I have nothing new in the dating area. That seems to be um.... lacking? drying out? No idea what the right word is, but yeah. So I'm waiting and have been since I forgot when. I don't like that waiting. Its my least favorite thing I think *ever.*

I'm all sorts of confused as to what to do. So I guess I'll continue on with waiting until something happens. Whatever that may be.

Night, void!

---

•listening to Jason Mraz (details in fabric)•

---

~i'm a wise girl who kisses but don't love, listen but don't believe, and leave before i'm left~

http://goofypopy.blogspot.com

Last Night

2009-08-25T14:47:00.000-07:00

I feel too much. Do you know how it feels, when you have so many feelings but can't share it to anyone? You have a lot of love to give, but no one around to turn to.

I don't wanna feel sad about something that isn't real and doesn't exist. That would be stupid.

Anyhow, I never want to slam the door. I might want to come back.

No. 8

2009-08-25T12:25:00.001-07:00

I measured things. It's not exactly the mature approach, but I was in rebound mode with someone who met the needs he couldn't. Of course, I know this isn't the reason to do things, to expect something back. But there's always the unaccounted variable with me.

Why bad news always follow a request to be seated?

....and that's when I knew he really wasn't the guy for me.

What am I writing? Am I just babbling?

Cin(t)a

2009-08-25T10:59:00.001-07:00

Just catch this movie by myself this afternoon.

Cina seorang anak baru di sebuah fakultas arsitektur, bertemu dengan Anissa, seniornya yg ternyata adalah seorang artis yang kesepian dan selalu terlihat sedih.

Karena satu hal, mereka akhirnya sering menghabiskan waktu bersama. Cina and Annisa could not love each other because they called God by different names.

Dari segi cerita, film ini punya skrip yang kuat and well research. Quite intelectual. Dibandingkan menonton Merah Putih , well, no offense doch. Untuk seorang sutradara berusia 25 tahun, film ini cukup mengena. Apalagi untuk yg pernah pacaran beda agama. Everyday story yang nggak berani diangkat sama sutradara-sutradara/ ph-ph kondang. Sunny Soon (Cina) dan Saira Jihan (Anissa) sebagai pendatang baru juga aktingnya bisa dikasih nilai 75. Skala 1-100.

We need more movie like this. Bukan cuma sekedar horor-horor nggak jelas, atau cerita dengan konflik yang berlebihan.

Cuma satu yg ganggu dari film ini, it should be film romantis, tapi scoringnya nggak pas. I bet kalo scoringnya pas, pasti lebih indah.

Untuk film indonesia, ratingnya B.

Support your Indo movie.

Dating Sucks

2009-08-25T10:06:00.001-07:00

Apparently I'm over jealous and slightly crazy, to like someone enough to want to meet them. I never figured that would be a bad thing, but in today's world apparently it is. I feel crushed and rather defeated. And I don't really understand it. Maybe I really am crazy, in trying to find someone who makes me happy. I don't know what to think at the moment. He signed off. And I honestly don't know if he'll be back online. Or at least to talk to me. Then again I barely know anything about him, but I'm drawn to him. Dating sucks.

A Letter To You

2009-08-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Dear (you know who u are),

Yes its true, I do like you... surprised? and no sorry, you don't get to freak out and ignore me. That's not so cute. What you could do is actually talk to me once in a while so I know I'm not a complete waste of your time. and if that is true, then alas, tell me? Please? *sighs* And yes I've gathered you have your own life problems/issues/whatever, but still no reason to pretend I don't exist. If I wanted to be invisible, well it wouldn't be so hard really.

signed,
the smart girl in town.

p.s. I'm not crazy, I just like to take chances

Empty

2009-08-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Breakup. They happen all the time. I want to cry now. Cry to my friends. Cry on the way to nowhere. Cry in the shower. I want to find normal again.

Maybe I should disappear for a while. When we're missing. People look for us. It's the entire philosophy behind playing it cool. When someone is gone, we imagine the best for them and the worst for us. Then we have to live life with unanswered questions.

I want to make those memories with someone. I want to start life and to make a past with someone who could remember my embarrassing moment.

*sigh*
let me cry tonight...

Passion

2009-08-23T15:01:00.000-07:00

I knew I have to start making my hobbies. My passions. About me. It would be something no one could ever take from me. Learning to make yourself happy, without another person, is just as invaluable as learning from the past.

Maybe I am still scared of alone. I'm afraid of what it means. I think alone is a punishment.

I'm just having a hard time accepting there's no guarantee in life, that any moment we hold dear, can be ripped from us. It's a very scary thing realizing you can't control.

Shame on me, kissing you wif my eyes closed.

Dirrrtty

2009-08-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

If I ever learned something over the years, it should've been how to walk or let him walk away. I haven't learned how to let go yet. I hope I get there one day and remember that I'm an individual.

I've never been so devastated, but it could be worse. I could be sick or find him wif someone else. This is not the worst.

I keep telling myself,"Popy, you can't control everything. Let go! It doesn't matter if he calls or not, whoever he is. Something, somewhere, some power will take care of you."

Let go. Let go. Learn.
Be free.

How Beautiful

2009-08-21T15:10:00.001-07:00

kubasahi sajadah panjangku
dengan air mata ini
kurasakan indahnya hadirMu
di tengah hati yang sepi

doaku
inginku
harapku
mimpi-mimpiku
kuserahkan kepadaMu

sedih di jiwa seperti hilang
terbang entah ke mana
inikah satu bintang
yang biarkanku menangis bahagia

nikmatMu
syukurku
cobaanMu
juga syukurku
temani aku di suci bulan ini

aku cinta kepadaMu, Ya Allah....

((God, thanks for this great feeling))
5:08:55 AM
Sat, Aug 22, 2009

Machandler

2009-08-21T11:42:00.001-07:00

Ah, forgot to introduce the new family.
For our new business (Wonderland), we (I and Lucky) decided to get me a new laptop.
Ofcourse I choose to get a macbook pro. I named it Chandler, just because I'm addicted to FRIENDS mucho.

I have used a mac before, so it's nothing big. The specs are a lot better from my previous macbook. Overall, hope Machandler can help my works. Thanks wonderland!

My Personal Ad

2009-08-21T07:02:00.001-07:00

if I ever make a personal advertising of myself, it will be written like this:

I hate walking, I drive or cab it, except when I'm shopping. Second, who doesn't like to travel? And what's wrong with short trip to local places? I looove melting butter in my popcorn. I heart ice cream and yoghurt. A new toothbrush. Cold beer and wine. White musk scented lotion at night and Lolita Lempecka in the morning. This girl can cook and dance. I'm skilled wif chopstick and wudn't be bored to eat sushi all the time. I have so much passion. Flowers don't hurt. It's all about sacrifice and compromise…

BIG Month

2009-08-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

1. If I were a liquid, I'd be... the river
2. If I were a sin, I'd be... a potty mouth, I happen to love cursing..
3. If I were a stone, I'd be .. diamond
4. If I were a tree, I'd be... a cherry tree
5. If I were a flower, I'd be... orchid , like my name Aranda
6. If I were a weather, I'd be... calm cloud
7. If I were a color, I'd be... turquoise-blue
8. If I were a sound, I'd be... a sound of excitement
9. If I were a lyric, I'd be... "I will try to fix you" coldplay - fix you
10. If I were a scent, I'd be... peppermint
11. If I were a piece of clothing, I'd be... a scarf
12. If I were one of the 4 seasons, I'd be... autumn

....it takes two!

Peeps, have a blessing day towards the month of Ramadhan.

Still Yuck

2009-08-20T05:07:00.000-07:00

I thought I was getting better, but I feel worse. Yuck. Sleep is nice and all, but being awake is much more exciting. There's always something to do, something going on. Even in the middle of the night.

This week went pretty quick.

Hhhhhhh....

~life isn't BurgerKing, you can't always have it your way~

Feeling Free

2009-08-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

Feeling free is important. Long hours do not equals feeling free. Listening to Jason Mraz, Pink Floyd or the Decemberist makes me feel free.

What do you think of when you hear feeling free?

I Hate Titles

2009-08-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

1. What is your fave quotable line from a movie? Never took it seriously, if u never take it seriously u never get hurt, if u never get hurt, u always have fun,,and if u ever get lonely jz go to the record store and visit ur friends. (Almost Famous)

2. Who is the most famous person you have spoken to? Um, the President of Indonesia

3. Who is your all time fave cartoon character? all SouthPark characters...

4. What is your fave section of the supermarket? toiletries, it's always excited to found new products ;) new shampoo, toothpaste, cremes... everything...

I'm terribly tired now. Start this morning by visiting my grandma and then work until 10, then continue having wine wif my friends.

I have no idea how my life is all going to work out, but I'm learning to embrace the uncertain instead of trying to plan, plan, plan. The most interesting is I got this free mini-jukebox-radio and cd player.

My Name

2009-08-18T21:24:00.001-07:00

I always write my name everywhere I can.. try to mention your name over and over again... It sounds funny...

Popypopypopypopy

This one I wrote on snow.

Workin' On It

2009-08-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

This year has been a little bit insane, wif all the changes going on in my life. I just feel kinda lost and I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel un-lost. I just wish things would be a little more stable at the moment, but there's this-that-this-that! But at a certain point, I'm just gonna say deal wif it and move on....

This Guy!

2009-08-18T06:42:00.001-07:00

I met someone the other day. You know when you meet someone, and you think you like them? And then, the more you talk to them you see parts that you don't like. And sometimes, you end up not liking any parts at all. But this guy is different. I like every part of him.

I Want Only This

2009-08-18T02:32:00.001-07:00

...to take a day off like today, wif my comfy pillow while wearing my sweatshirt and track pants right now. Napping or even sleeping is out of the question.

...people to be honest and upfront. I'm tired of getting the run around, lied to, exaggerated, and so on.

...to move on with life and stop hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

...people to respect my decisions about my life and stop playing devil's advocate cause I'm not doing what they want. I can live wif my decisions, its everyone else that seems to have a problem wif mine.

...to be able to drive pretty soon. I'm tired asking friends to drive me home.

...to pursue what makes me happy, not what makes someone else happy or what someone else wants for me than I want anymore.

...to apologize for kissing you. I just wanna know how it feels.

---

~dance like no one is dancing. sing like no one is listening. love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on earth~ mark twain

---

Kenapa?

2009-08-18T02:03:00.001-07:00

Kenapa aku tidak mau?

Kenapa aku tidak bisa?

Mataku bisa melihat

Telingaku dapat mendengar

Mulutku sanggup berbicara

Belum sampai seratus ribu hal yang dapat kukerjakan, belum sampai sebelas ribu teman yang kukenal, belum sampai akhir hayat kuberkarya...

Tiba-tiba, teringat Helen Keller, seorang perempuan hebat yang tuna wicara, tuna netra dan tuna rungu... Dengan segala kekurangannya, she's living her life to the fullest.. 88 tahun, ia hidup tanpa melihat, mendengar dan tanpa berkata-kata. Sebuah buku dan 5 tulisan lainnya ia hasilkan, she got all the attention from the world. Bahkan dia dijuluki keajaiban dunia ke-delapan.

Lalu, dengan segala keterbatasannya kenapa ia bisa? Mengapa kita sering malas? Mengapa kita sering bersedih?

Let's not wasting our time...

Let's not give up, and live to the fullest.

----

Saya hanyalah satu, tetapi saya satu

Saya tidak dapat melakukan semuanya,

Tetapi saya masih dpt melakukan sesuatu

Dan karena saya tidak dpt melakukan semuanya,

Saya tidak akan menolak sesuatu yang saya dapat lakukan...

helen adams keller

(1880-1968)

----

~i fake it, until i make it~